


WhyFai

by noctiscorvus



Category: Marvel
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 07:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1042168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noctiscorvus/pseuds/noctiscorvus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony visits Asgard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	WhyFai

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [No Wi-Fi](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/30668) by Sanzo-Sinclaire. 



> For Sanzo because she draws the best expressions and hair and generally puts up with me throwing all the ideas I get from her stuff at her.

He’d spoken briefly with Jane when they crossed paths at the AGU Fall Meeting Bruce had dragged him to.  
She’d gotten an excited gleam in her eyes when Tony mentioned he’d be visiting Asgard himself soon and then spent the next half hour telling him the do’s and don’ts (And really, Tony just filed that as one long list of things to try out) and the pitfalls to watch out for.  
Apparently most Asgardians weren’t used to dealing with Midgardians and a simple pat on the back could lead to a few days of laying prone and one mighty hand-shaped bruise.

Tony made sure to ask about the food, Pepper had been fretting that it might not be suitable for non-godly metabolisms, but Jane reassured him he didn’t even have to worry about it being undercooked.  
The warrior-folk took food rather seriously, especially when Volstagg (Loki often referred to him as _the oaf_ ) was in attendance for the meal.  
While Jane couldn’t say much for Loki’s quarters, the sons of Odin each had an entire floor of living space.  
And knowing the Trickster’s penchant for luxury, Tony assumed he’d have no problems with where he’d be staying.

So, despite all this, despite having asked both Jane and Loki about the things he’d need to bring and should expect to find, despite having a dozen checklists he had Pepper make and then go through (Tony was going to a different dimension and wanted to be properly prepared), the self-proclaimed, and rightly so, genius managed to forget to ask about one thing.

“What do you mean ‘ _there’s no WiFi_ ’ ?!” Blue eyes stared at Loki, betrayal painted across his face as Tony looked back to his Stark phone, the always faithful connection bar now a horrifying red.  
“Exactly that. Asgard has no need for in- Tony. What are you doing?” Loki sighed as the mortal started walking around, arm outstretched with that infernal device.  
“It’s an ancient practice among my people.” Tony replied, swerving around Frigga, the queen giving her son a questioning look.  
  
Loki offered her a smile, reaching a hand out that she gladly accepted, “Really.”  
“Yeah, from way back when we didn’t have hi-tech Stark Industries satellites at every key orbit point, offering unlimited, twenty-four-seven world-wide internet access.” Tony paused, half hanging over the balcony railing, “ I think I still have my old Iridium satellite phone somewhere.”

Frigga, still not sure what was going on, nodded slowly and watched with her youngest as Tony once again took off across the room.  
“Son? Is Anthony alright?” And it really said something about how desperate Stark was, to not even glare at Loki for having told his mother to call him Anthony.  
The raven-haired man just smirked, “He just can’t accept the fact that there is no WiFi in Asgard.”  
His mother let out a soft, “Oh.”, the memory of Darcy Lewis running through the hallways in search for this strange signal still fresh in her mind.

\--

Loki was known for scheming, for cunning plans and petty tricks that really shouldn’t amuse him so much. These were things that often required a bit of planning and a lot of waiting, for the right time or until Thor annoyed him enough that he was feeling particularly vindictive.  
So he didn’t really get why people were so surprised when he showed patience Odin wished his eldest son had.  
  
But Tony knew.  
 Tony was well aware just how long the God of Mischief could sit and wait, could spend hours just watching people, whether for malevolent intents or because he liked the peace it brought him.  
As such, the Midgardian only commented once on Loki trailing behind him as Tony ventured across the realm, the simple reply being that Loki enjoyed the view.  
The conversation hit the gutter pretty fast after that (‘Steve did warn me you were only after my _ass_ ests.’ ‘Actually, I’m rather more fond of that mouth of yours. And the many uses I can put it to.’) and had a few guards shuffling a little further away because plausible deniability.

Tony didn’t seem to notice though, more than a little focused on willing the signal bar to go green with the power of his mind and sheer determination.  


In the end, it became an unofficial tour, Tony wandering to places he was certain would put him in reach of finally being able to check his emails, while Loki rattled off the things he did there.  
On the south battlements, the God told of the time he convinced Fandral into jumping off, while Tony pushed his way between patrols with his arm and phone waving about.  
  
The Rainbow Bridge came with a short recollection of his battle against Thor and how the bumbling fool always fell for the same trick. Tony hummed while laying on his stomach, phone dangling over the edge towards where he was certain Earth was.  
  
In the palace, high up in the towers, Loki held onto the back of Tony’s shirt while he attempted to climb up the spire with a metal wire in one hand (‘Antennae. Kinda like your helmet, makes everyone watching laugh at you.’). He didn’t regale Tony with a story this time, letting the mechanic impart his own tale of how he came by the idea of creating Dum-E.  
That had partially been out of curiosity and mostly because he was worried Tony would somehow slip and plummet to the depths of Asgard.

\--

It was well into the night when they trudged back into the grand halls of the palace, the feast well underway if the noise was anything to go by.  
Neither was in the mood for festivities though, a shower and bed seeming to be favoured more than the need for good food and adequate (questionable in Loki’s eyes) company.  
They were also not very keen on having to explain why they were covered in hay, smelt of horses and why Tony was missing a tuft of hair.

Still, sore shin and bruised hip aside, Loki was rather pleased.  
When the valkyrie’s horse had thrown Tony off (and Loki did warn him not to try that. Twice.), that blasted phone had clattered to the floor and promptly been stomped on by an indignant hoof.  
And not a lot survived the hooves of an Asgardian steed.

Of course Tony nagged and complained the whole way back to their quarters, only stopping for a brief moment as he stared at his victimized hair in the mirror.  
“I hate horses. Deeply. Passionately. Hate them.”  
“Mhm.” Loki unclasped his attire, letting the dirty clothes pool at his feet.  
“And it’s not a horse joke, really-“ Green eyes glared at the back of Tony’s head, ”But how on Earth, or Asgard I guess, can you like them? They smell and have poor manners an-“  


Long, powerful fingers gripped Tony’s jaw as Loki pressed up against the Midgardian’s back, chin resting easily on his shoulder.  
“If I recall, you offered me a reward for saving you from broken bones.”  
“I may have said that.” Tony tilted his head up, letting fingernails drag down his neck.  
“I’m also collecting fee for having escorted you around all day.” The God brought his other hand round, palm flat against Tony’s chest with fingers playing along the edge of his arc reactor.  
  
“Royal escort. Sounds like a porn compan-Eee!”  Tony jerked back against the Jotun, his chest tingling from the magic that shocked him. And really, he should have seen that coming, Loki was always trouble when things got handsy.  
“You can start by kissing the bruises you gave me.” A half growl, followed by a sharp nip on his ear and Tony was sold.  
  
“I elbowed your hip, right? That’s a good place to start.”


End file.
